A confession, some ponderings

I judge people by their handshakes.

This is classist and elitist and not nice. But I do.

I judge women who can't give a good handshake. "Surely," I think as I sighfully cradle your lady-fingers, proferred in a kiss-my-ring-I-am-royalty position, "you've noticed by now that most people use a grip that would pop your joints in this position if they didn't notice in time that you were too girly to shake hands properly. Self-preservation should make you refrain from your Princess Handshake even if you have no concern for the dignity of your entire gender in the workplace."

More, I judge men who are surprised by me offering my hand. "Screw you," I think as I stare you right in the eye, giving you my best Death Grip that I use for no other occasion, "screw you for thinking that my being a woman makes it inappropriate for you to make this one gesture of civilized acquaintance that our society mandates. How dare you believe that you're exempt from treating me as a social and business equal on greeting."

A bit of unscientific sociological observation: Among California college men, Latin American men shake hands with me on meeting and parting much more easily and naturally than most other ethnicities. Men right about 40 are most likely to shake without that moment of raised eyebrow that says "brown-nosing uppity feminist."

I am aware that this is a marker of white-collar upbringing and business-class education. There's a great article here that mentions that (and the last comment is awesome).

I don't think I'm elitist. I rarely notice people's clothes in terms of a class marker and I can't actually tell you how much different brands of garments cost relative to each other. I know that in introductions, the younger person is generally presented to the elder, but I don't care if anyone else does this. I don't particularly mind my students speaking dialect to me, provided they can write in Standard American English and translate for me if I look confused. I committed to memory the five present tenses of Black American English (Ebonics) and can, haltingly, use them; "y'all" and "ain't" don't bother me. I don't even notice cars such as you'd form judgments.

I guess this bothers me because it strikes me as such an exclusively sexist thing.

So. Weigh in. Am I a hypocrite?

In honor of a momentous event

A couple of linkyish imagey things on a theme to become evident:




This comic basically defines M's and my "romantic moments."  One day I will post about some of the moments of sheer epic romance fail we've experienced.  We consider this ineptitude (usually on my part, though she has her moments) utterly a part of our relationship and would trade for no sweeping rom-com gesture.

And some link love for an incredible, incredible Etsy jeweler:
 
Image copyright Esther Eve.

That particular pair of rings, of course, is sold, because they are M's and my engagement rings.

This is a belated step on some level because she and I have known for almost two years that we'd be spending the rest of our lives together (with some stalling and floundering on my part because I was 18 and stupid, but even then I pretty much knew).  To put that in perspective, Thursday is what I like to call our two-and-a-halfiversary.

But when you find a person who you can be with constantly for months at a time and never be tired of, and when you are apart for a few minutes you then are happy to see them again -- once you cut through insecurities and self-doubt, it doesn't take too long to know.

No date is set.  It will be some time before we can legally marry in our new home state.  A wedding itself would probably not go well considering various family situations.  But we are now what we are calling "enringed" to one another.

And that is good.

Love you, darling.

A moment of outrage

Remember that article I wrote about being very self-conscious in the use of terms like "tribal", "ethnic" and "primitive"?

Here's why.

I'm not sure there's any way to transition from people being treated worse than wild animals by governments who can't begin to understand that a way of life different from their own could possibly be fulfilling.  So I guess that constitutes the post for today.

Oh, except to say that the whole kerfuffle started over a boycott of tourism in the swimming-pool-equipped safari lodges that are blocking Bushmen from access to their drinking water and -- here's the jewelry bit -- Botswana diamonds.

You will probably hear me emphasize this again:  Please, please, if you do mean to buy a diamond, know where it comes from.  Don't give your money to people who are brutalizing indigenous cultures.

Style contemplations once again!

Today, I was setting out to do something with my shop announcement on Etsy that would give people some framework to experience the stuff I make.  As I'm sure I've said before, my style is sort of all over the place and you have to view a couple dozen pieces before you see the common threads.

I wound up with "Here you'll find handmade jewelry in an eclectic style that includes organic freehand wirework, found objects and (mostly) symmetrical glass-bead designs. Steampunk assemblage and bright vintage-inspired pieces are my particular forte."

*inspects it*

That looks pretty accurate to me, right?  "Vintage-inspired" is such a vague term that it does pretty easily net everything that's not covered by "steampunk assemblage," "organic freehand wirework" or "found objects," right?  Of course, I just wrote an article explaining why people shouldn't use blanket terms, but I was talking about individual descriptions.

Other style elements I contemplated noting but tossed out:

Medium-length earrings.  I don't make a lot of short ones but these are the longest I've ever made, bar the ones intended for belly dancers, like the tassels and those sweet shell and pewter leverbacks I made for M's tribal-gothic-fusion outfit for the Azkatraz ball last year, which were eight inches long and laid on her lovely collarbones.

Available here.

These are more standard for me, though still a little longer than average:


Available here.

My fondness for brass and copper.  It's still unfashionable to genuinely like these.  This is partly because everyone is now convinced that they are allergic to everything.  That's not actually the case.  Unfortunately, antique and gunmetal brass treatments do contain enough nickel to irritate some people -- but usually that's not the case in a necklace or bracelet.  I had to (stop reading if you are, M) have a crown replaced a couple of years ago and the dentist called in his entire staff to show them what a really severe nickel allergy inflammation in the mouth looks like.  I wear nickel-containing brass treatments all the time.  I just can't handle them as earwires for lengthy periods.

I'm not saying people aren't really allergic to jewelry metals.  It happens.  It's just that everyone thinks they are and it's really not the case for many of them. 

More to the point, I like brass and copper.  They weather beautifully.  All metals tarnish, people, with the sole exception of gold.  All of the metals.  All of them.  The copper-brass-gunmetal spectrum does so with a beautiful old-world grace that, in my opinion, is better than looking like it was just made forever.


I do, however, use a germanium sterling on my coral and such, because I don't want my white coral branches to stain.

Sparkle!  This is weird, because most of the other designers I really like oxidize the shit out of everything.

Really bizarre interpretations of other styles.  Even if I try to do Southwestern or Cutesy Chic or Meaningful Assemblage or something, it all comes out looking like me playing with elements of those styles.  And there's no way to put that in a description without sounding like a narcissist ("Tee hee, I'm SO unique!!!") but, on balance, I think that's something to be proud of.


And a final note.  I didn't set out to do any of this.  It just happened to be the way in which I do things.  Maybe that's my early materials influencing everything else I've ever done, maybe it's that the beads and components I pick contribute to it, maybe I'm influenced by my grandmother's crazy 60's jewelry she let me wear, but -- all those "develop your style" posts had nothing to do with this.  So anyone who's landed here by Googling "how to develop a personal jewelry style" or some such -- just do it.  It happens this way.

But if you're like me you'll have to make a blog post three years later before you get a firm idea of what your style is.

This is me killing time.

I am killing time because M's plane lands in four hours.  What should I blog about?

*bouncebouncebounce*

Oh, here's something:  I bloody hate add-a-link charm bracelets.  They steal business from actual handmade businesses, most of whom would be happy to make you a real custom charm bracelet -- often cheaper than the Pandora or Troll or Biagi bracelets in jewelry stores -- because people think that choosing from a selection of a hundred and fifty charms makes them "unique."  People, they're not.  They're really not.

I'll make a reluctant exception for stuff like this:

Photo copyright killerbeedz1.

See, that's neat.  And different.  Handmade one-of-a-kind Pandora beads still have a chance at being awesome, and at a significant discount from the factory ones.

Here, this is an awesome time-killing game.  My high score is 3300.  What's yours?

Oh, hey, shop the Stocking Stuffer Sale in my shop!


Available here, here, here, and here.

Gift-guide Treasury Roundup

Stocking Stuffer Gift Guide:  Assortments of things under $50.  In my family, you need like sixteen of anything to be used to stuff stockings.



The "I Barely Know You" Gift Guide: Unisex neutrals!  I read an Etsy Storque article a while ago that bothered me because someone on staff was complaining about being unable to find plain white men's pajamas.  If you're looking for something that anonymous, why would you search an individual's Etsy shop for it?  So, simple neutral stuff that doesn't presuppose much about the recipient but is still unique and interesting enough to be expected of a handcraftsman.



Oh my god oh my god Megan will be back on Monday. Posting may be a little slow while we catch up.

Oh, and I'm five whole minutes from going to take the final that will conclude my undergraduate work.  Fingers crossed for an A in this class, if I get A's this quarter it'll pull my overall GPA to a solid 3.7 -- which would make me alarmingly proud.

Awesome Aluminum

Or, for our British friends: Awesome Aluminium.  I've always loved alliterative stuff and I blame Bill Nye the Science Guy for this.  Anyhow.



Available hither, thither, and yon.

Above are three pieces -- my Clockwork Orchid necklace, my Ocean Bijoux Empress necklace, and some of the bracelets I'm offering with the stocking-stuffer deals this year -- where I've used aluminum chain.

I was a little surprised, when I started paying attention to my materials, by how much I like aluminum.  It's got a lot of advantages.  It's very lightweight -- while I like the nice weighty feel of, say, glass or stone, that's good when you're working with a lot of heavy materials and fantastic for earrings.  It's easy to cut -- I've ruined a lot of pairs of flush cutters on silver-plated steel chain -- yet it's very very strong.  To my knowledge it never tarnishes.  It's also hypoallergenic.

People react badly to this on occasion.  Aluminum doesn't count as a jewelry metal to them, and it sounds cheap.  But honestly, it's such a phenomenal material that it's a pity people don't value it more.

And on the list of random trivia: Aluminum oxidizes to sapphire.  Sapphire is crystallized, oxidized aluminum.  Therefore, your soda can, your deck chair, and the chain of those bracelets?  Metal coated in sapphire.

Mail musings

One of the few problems with my bridal line is the difficulty of shipping.
 
Available here.

That thing above, for instance, has to be sandwiched in layers of tissue paper and bubble wrap and separately boxed so it can't move.

The coral pieces are even worse, since I have to use one of those little embossed foil gift boxes (you know the ones, most jewelry designers and stores have them) and take a box cutter to it to open triangular notches in the shorter sides, then construct an interior framework out of corrugated cardboard so they have a perfect safe little cell to live in while the box gets bounced around the post office.

However, my little local UPS store, where I love to go because they're not actually any slower than the Post Office and while I wait to be helped I can talk to the senior citizens bringing their service dogs to buy recycled-paper Christmas cards,  was having a sale on all their crush-proof video mailing boxes -- sensible, because who really ships a VHS tape any more? -- and I bought out their entire stock for $6.50.  This is awesome, because video and CD mailers are very strong and their flat shape is perfect for keeping jewelry from moving around.  Charm bracelets, for instance -- the best way to pack them is two sheets of tissue paper and a CD mailer.

Hey, question, readerfolk: When you order from Etsy, do you like to get business cards?  How many?  Do you keep one?  Hand them out or just recycle them?  Does it matter if they've got a note or a special offer or something on them?

Link love for a cool jeweler

I think this shop is just gorgeous and if I'm looking for jewelry that's more on the fine-heirloom-formal end than the high-end-fashion-jewelry stuff I do, this very cool lady has my attention.



Images copyright jbEbert.

Isn't that a cool way to do item photos? Every one has a different "inspiration" bar next to the jewelry, stuff ranging from orchids to Egyptian wall paintings. And the designs are just exquisite, with that symmetrical-but-chaotic thing going. I think I can learn a lot about design principles from studying these.

Added to that, she donates to Heifer International, which is awesome and totally worth reading about. So a win on all fronts.

So I've been saying I'd do this for a while

Happy December!  Remember how I said I was going to write a series for Home Jewelry Business Success Tips?  That's going on now.

I thought someone with professional experience in writing should really do some articles about writing descriptions for handmade products sold online.  Then I thought, "Dude -- I have professional experience in writing.  I should do some articles about writing product descriptions for online selling."

So then, out of nowhere, I did some articles about copywriting for online jewelry and handmade-product sellers.

It's sort of like the one I wrote several months ago about tribal jewelry and how to describe it, but more technically focused.  Basically I take the really common phrases and take them apart to identify why they're so common and find better alternatives.  It's like tutoring but slightly more fun and I can do it alone with my laptop.

The ones published thus far:
"Authentic"
"Inspired by Nature"
"Elegant"