A confession, some ponderings

I judge people by their handshakes.

This is classist and elitist and not nice. But I do.

I judge women who can't give a good handshake. "Surely," I think as I sighfully cradle your lady-fingers, proferred in a kiss-my-ring-I-am-royalty position, "you've noticed by now that most people use a grip that would pop your joints in this position if they didn't notice in time that you were too girly to shake hands properly. Self-preservation should make you refrain from your Princess Handshake even if you have no concern for the dignity of your entire gender in the workplace."

More, I judge men who are surprised by me offering my hand. "Screw you," I think as I stare you right in the eye, giving you my best Death Grip that I use for no other occasion, "screw you for thinking that my being a woman makes it inappropriate for you to make this one gesture of civilized acquaintance that our society mandates. How dare you believe that you're exempt from treating me as a social and business equal on greeting."

A bit of unscientific sociological observation: Among California college men, Latin American men shake hands with me on meeting and parting much more easily and naturally than most other ethnicities. Men right about 40 are most likely to shake without that moment of raised eyebrow that says "brown-nosing uppity feminist."

I am aware that this is a marker of white-collar upbringing and business-class education. There's a great article here that mentions that (and the last comment is awesome).

I don't think I'm elitist. I rarely notice people's clothes in terms of a class marker and I can't actually tell you how much different brands of garments cost relative to each other. I know that in introductions, the younger person is generally presented to the elder, but I don't care if anyone else does this. I don't particularly mind my students speaking dialect to me, provided they can write in Standard American English and translate for me if I look confused. I committed to memory the five present tenses of Black American English (Ebonics) and can, haltingly, use them; "y'all" and "ain't" don't bother me. I don't even notice cars such as you'd form judgments.

I guess this bothers me because it strikes me as such an exclusively sexist thing.

So. Weigh in. Am I a hypocrite?